A Rich Life: What advice would I give my 20-year-old self?

At 70+ the advice that I would give my 20-year-old self is to enjoy life. Lots of things are going to happen along the way that will try to take your joy but don’t let them. People will question your motives but if you believe that what you are doing is right then keep doing it. Be kind to others but in your kindness don’t let them hold you back from the life that you were made for.

Of course, that means that you will have to discover that life. You will have to become the one that God created you to be and that becoming is a lifetime adventure. Seeking it out will bring you lots of happiness and just enjoy that when it comes. You don’t have to always be looking for the next thing. Take joy in what you have and appreciate the family and friends that you have. They won’t always be there so love them while you can.

Especially your mom. Hug her as often as you can. Don’t be so busy with school and work and friends that you don’t go home and see her. She loves you. She gave you life. Hold on to her as much as you can as you look for how you will be an independent adult on your own. Though you will be independent you will always need your Mom. When she is gone you will wish you had written her more, called her more, visited her more. But then when she is gone don’t beat yourself up. Take those memories, those regrets, and use them as a reminder to care for your Dad and your sister and your brother and your friends, and don’t take them for granted either. 

You will discover whether it is for a short time or a long time there will never be enough time to be with your parents and siblings. Love them, love them, love them. And when you have a family of your own, which you doubt now that you will ever have, hold tightly onto them. Not in a way that strangles them but in a way that lets them know you are aware that the moments together are far too short and that the years go way too fast. So enjoy them. Love them. Bring your best to them and bring out the best in them.

You care deeply about justice and peace and you will discover that the two collide at times. Still, don’t give up on either of them. That passion for them is deep in you and your life will be better for working towards them in your unique way. The passion you have for what is good and right needs to be extended to others as well, that how they see the good and the right could be the way. Don’t be afraid to change, to admit you were wrong. It’s hard to believe now when you are 20 but everything you think isn’t the only way to see things, isn’t the only correct way. Give others some slack.

I know what is in your head, that you can back off from a difficult discussion because you are OK with them being wrong because you think you are so right. That will work for you but someday you will see that more often than you thought, they were the ones who were right and you were the one who was wrong, or at least might be wrong. 

Hang on to hope and in times when it seems to be gone, grab for it anyway. You will feel hopeless at points but you don’t need to stay that way. Others won’t know how you are feeling inside but reach out to those you trust and love and let them remind you of the hope that exists even if you can’t seem to see it yourself.

Reflect hope to others. Don’t keep it to yourself. Just as you need it the world desperately needs it also. Your family will need it. Your friends will need it. Strangers will need it. They will see you as a hope-filled person and you need to share it with them. You will do that. You will reflect hope.

And that, my 20-year-old self, is how you will enjoy life. That’s what I want for you. That’s the advice I have for you. Enjoy life as you reflect hope to others and experience it for yourself.