Say Uncle! Time to Give it Up. (An Advice Column)

Dear Uncle Freddy,

My girlfriend thinks I should either get a job or move out. But I love my mother and moving out is not really an option. She needs me and likes to cook and clean for me.  A job would only lead me to buy more things for her to have to clean and that seems unkind after all she does for me.

What should I tell my girlfriend? I enjoy dating her but my Mom is my Mom and it’s not like my girlfriend can’t continue to pay for our dates together. After all, she already has a job.

Signed,                                                      

Living the dream

Dear Dreamer,

It looks like you have three choices. None of them will have you put in jail unless things go very wrong in the execution, of the plan that is not actual physical execution. I don’t advocate that as you well know if you have been paying attention to my earlier columns.

Choice #1 - Get a job. Your girlfriend perhaps is tired of paying for your sorry self who refuses to work but still counts on the fact that she works and for some reason keeps you as a boyfriend. That is a whole other column, or series of columns, best left for other issues, in the newspaper not to speak of the other issues between the two of you.

Perhaps she thinks that it will build character in you if you are gainfully employed or perhaps she feels that you should have to work since she hates the job she has and wants you to have the same misery. Again, the opportunity for another column but she should write in for that advice. Let it be her story as she wishes, as this is yours. I would have so much to tell her about you, that’s for sure, and about her obvious lack of decision-making skills.

In any case, you could get a job but you already have said that you don’t want to get one and your Mom obviously doesn’t care so you can just stick with your Mom’s money.

Choice #2 - Move out. Interesting that your girlfriend gives you this as a choice since if you choose this and not the job you will have nowhere to go to live. This seems totally unreasonable for her to expect you to live on the street, assuming she is much too smart to let you ever move in with her and have you mooching off of her for more than just your dates. Let’s move on from this choice though it could be an option if you have other family members or friends to move in with and pay your bills for you. I’m thinking the answer is no to that since they have most likely seen how you are. 

Choice #3 - Move out with the blessing of your Mom since she may be glad to have you out of her house so that she doesn’t have to cook and clean for you and otherwise be your maid. She may be willing to finance your exit and future life without a job since she has been financing you already and she could rent out your room at home and not be expected to provide both room and board, just the room.

So, Dreamer, it’s time to negotiate with your Mom for an exit from her home, make sure it’s in writing, for her sake, not yours. I’m sure she knows a good attorney to get involved. 

Then move out and tell your girlfriend that you took option two even though you and I, and my many readers, will know that you actually took option three. She will get what she asked for and she will have to live with her poor choice of demands. This will teach her to be more careful in the future because sometimes you get what you asked for. 

In any case, for you, Living the Dream is over. Say Uncle! It’s time to give it up.

Regards and no regrets,                                                      

Uncle Freddy

ABOUT UNCLE FREDDY

Fred Rock lives a simple life in a simple town with simple opinions about simple people.  

Fred studied philately and geology and has put his stamp of approval on a variety of projections and knows how to dig down to get to the core of the matter. That is what makes Fred such an insightful and helpful columnist in the area of relationships. 

Fred is often seen around town enjoying a quiet walk with his mother, with whom he lives.