She waved and I had to stop and think why as I waved back. Then he waved and I waved at him as well as I kept walking down the street. Strangers. They were strangers. Or were they?
I felt a smile grow across my face as I realized that I had walked these streets and waved at people as they drove or walked past me for many months. And here I was now wondering why someone else had waved at me, first. They were most likely people that I had been waving at and now they were so used to seeing me wave that they waved before I did. It was kind of nice actually.
Just a little thing, waving at people. But in a world that sometimes separates us by our words, a simple action like a wave can push that all aside, at least for a moment. When I wave at someone it doesn’t matter to me what they think about pandemics, or elections, or even religions, or lifestyles, or nationalities, or races. None of that matters when I just look up and smile and wave at someone. A smile and a wave and we are just two people who aren’t alone for a moment. Two people who have cared enough, even if it is just a little bit, to communicate with one other person that we see them. They are real. They are right there. They are an acquaintance even if just for a moment.
But then when weeks go on and months and perhaps years the acquaintance grows to a friendly word if we walk by each other on the street and maybe a hello if we pass in the aisle of a store. Small things really but important things, valuable actions which show that we value the other person and they value us.
There is a lot of meanness in the world sometimes. It can come from me. It can come from you. It can come from a stranger. But whoever it comes from it is there because we have decided to devalue the other person and think that they don’t matter as much as my own opinion matters. We decide that our beliefs are right and our way of handling life is the only right way and that if someone disagrees with us that they aren’t worthy of our respect.
Of course, we allow ourselves to change, to get new information, to see that our new way of thinking is now the right way but when we don’t allow that same possibility to someone else we cut off something very important. We cut off civility and we cut ourselves off from people who may think differently than we do but are still people, people with hopes and dreams and hurts and problems. Some of these people were friends or at least acquaintances until we saw them attack our beliefs or actions and we do the same to them. Sometimes we do that to stand up for a person that we don’t even know or a belief that we may change with new information. It’s sad really that I might do that. That you might do that.
And so I wave. I take walks and I wave at those I pass as they walk and I wave at cars as they pass me by even when I can’t see the face of the driver clearly. But I still wave. The world needs friendly contacts. People need to see a friendly face. They may be on the way to a job that they wish they didn’t have to go to and they have customers who may be rude to them but they can’t be rude back because they have to be friendly in their position, in their job.
The person I smile and wave at might be walking their dog because they just had to get out of the house because of a difficult relationship with a person there or because if they don’t get outside from an empty house they feel like they will explode with sadness. The person driving by doesn’t expect a stranger to be friendly to them but when it happens it can be startling the first time but when it happens another day it becomes a chance to wave back.
Then comes the day that the other person waves first because they know I am going to and they are glad. It’s hard to call that a friendship. It’s not much of an acquaintanceship either. But it’s something.
Maybe it’s the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Or maybe, and this is OK too, it’s just the beginning of a beautiful day.
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